Managing Your Own Psychology

The CEO's Darkest Secret

If you walk into any boardroom in Kuala Lumpur, from the glass towers of KLCC to the shophouse offices in Damansara, you will see confident CEOs. They project strength. They have the answers. They are "crushing it."

But get them alone—maybe over a quiet drink at a speakeasy in Chinatown or late at night on a WhatsApp call—and the mask slips.

"I don't know if we're going to make payroll next month." "I feel like a fraud." "I haven't slept properly in three weeks."

As Dave Chong, I can tell you: The hardest part of running a company isn't the strategy, the product, or the sales. It is managing your own psychology.

Ben Horowitz called it "The Struggle." In Malaysia, we might just call it "The Stress." But whatever you name it, it is the invisible killer of startups.

Your State of Mind is a Company Asset

When you are the founder, you are the emotional thermostat of the company. If you walk in panicked, your team panics. If you walk in defeated, your team gives up. If you are manic and unfocused, your team spins in circles.

Therefore, managing your psychology is not "self-care" or indulgence. It is a fiduciary duty. You owe it to your shareholders and your employees to keep your head straight.

The Rollercoaster of the "Almost" Deal

Let me tell you a story. A few years ago, we were chasing a massive government contract. It was a "company-maker." For three months, it was all "green lights." The Datuk loved the pitch. The procurement team was happy. We were mentally spending the money.

Then, on a Friday afternoon, I got the text. "Sorry Dave, budget frozen. Project on hold indefinitely."

My stomach dropped. I felt physically sick. I wanted to crawl into bed and not come out for a week.

But I had an all-hands meeting on Monday.

If I let that emotion consume me, I would have destroyed company morale. I had to process the grief, reset, and find a new path forward—all in 48 hours.

Techniques for the Trenches

Over the years, I've developed a toolkit for keeping my sanity intact.

1. Stop a Bad Hour from Becoming a Bad Week

When bad news hits—and it will—allow yourself to feel it. Give yourself a timer. "I am going to be angry about this lost deal for 30 minutes." Vent to your co-founder. Go to the gym and hit a punching bag. Scream in your car on the DASH highway.

But when the timer rings, you are done. You compartmentalize. You put the failure in a box, put the box on a shelf, and you get back to work.

2. separate "Fact" from "Story"

Human brains are storytelling machines.

• Fact: A client cancelled their subscription.
• Story: "Our product sucks, everyone is going to leave, and I am going to go bankrupt."

The fact is manageable. The story is catastrophic. As a founder, your job is to look at the fact, strip away the emotional story, and solve the problem.

3. The "24-Hour Rule" for Big Decisions

Never make a major decision when you are emotional—either too happy or too sad.

• If you just won a huge deal, don't hire 5 people immediately. (That's the dopamine talking).
• If you just lost a key employee, don't pivot the whole company strategy. (That's the fear talking).

Sleep on it. The world looks different after 8 hours of sleep.

Finding Your "Peer Therapy" Group

Your spouse doesn't want to hear about your cash flow issues every night. Your employees can't know about your doubts. Your friends with 9-to-5 jobs simply don't understand the pressure.

You need other founders.

I have a small group of founder friends in KL and Singapore. We meet once a month. We don't talk about how "great" things are. We talk about the nightmares. We share the burden. Knowing you aren't the only one suffering is surprisingly healing.

The Long Game

Building a company is not a sprint; it's a marathon where you get punched in the face every few miles. You cannot survive if you are emotionally fragile.

You have to harden your mind. You have to learn to look at chaos and see it as just another Tuesday.

Keep your head. The team is watching.

Dave Chong DJC AI Sdn Bhd