Learning to Lose: Resilience as a Skill

The Punch in the Mouth

Mike Tyson famously said, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."

In business, you will get punched. A lot.

I remember a specific incident early in my career. We had worked for six months on a massive integration for a client in Singapore. It was technically perfect. We deployed it.

And it failed. Catastrophically.

Data was corrupted. The client was furious. They threatened to sue. My reputation was on the line. I felt like the world was ending. I sat in my office in the dark, staring at the wall, thinking, "I am finished. I am a failure."

But I wasn't finished. And I wasn't a failure. I had just failed at a task.

There is a massive difference between "I failed" and "I am a failure."

Resilience is a Muscle, Not a Gift

We look at successful founders like Elon Musk or Jack Ma and think they are born tough. They aren't. They just got hit so many times that they built up calluses.

Resilience is not about not feeling pain. It’s about refractory period—how long does it take you to recover?

• Novice Founder: Fails -> Depressed for 3 months -> Quits.
• Intermediate Founder: Fails -> Drinks for a week -> Gets back to work.
• Master Founder: Fails -> Curses for 10 minutes -> Asks "What did we learn?" -> Pivots.

The Post-Mortem Framework

At DJC, we don't just "move on" from failure. We dissect it. We treat failure as expensive data. We already paid for the lesson (in lost revenue or time), so we better get the value out of it.

After every major screw-up, I force myself to write a Post-Mortem:

1. What happened? (Just the facts, no emotions).
2. Why did it happen? (The "5 Whys" technique. Keep asking why until you find the root cause).
3. Was it bad luck or bad process?
   • If it was bad luck (e.g., Covid hit), you forgive yourself.
   • If it was bad process (e.g., we didn't test enough), you fix the system.
4. What are we doing so this never happens again?

The "Tuition Fee" Mindset

I reframe every loss as a tuition fee.

That lost RM 50k on a bad marketing campaign? That was the tuition fee for "Marketing 101." That bad hire who stole clients? That was the tuition fee for "HR & Legal 101."

University is expensive. The University of Hard Knocks is even more expensive. But the lessons you learn here, you never forget.

Staying in the Ring

The only way you truly lose is if you quit. As long as you are still in the game, you have a chance to win.

In Malaysia, we have a saying: "Die die must try." It means you give everything you have. Even when it looks hopeless, you keep pushing.

You will survive the embarrassment. You will survive the debt. You will survive the criticism.

Take the punch. Check your teeth. Spit out the blood. And keep moving forward.

Dave Chong DJC AI Sdn Bhd